There is one type of blog in the dating/relationship niche that always seems to catch my eye along with many other interested readers and that is of the older male virgin blog. These blogs are almost irresistible to read due to the sexual trials and tribulations of the authors. Though these blogs tend to be similar in their life span on the web, they always offer a unique opportunity for everyone to become an expert on losing virginity and offering their advice to said authors. They pop up every once in awhile with clever names like: Almost 40 Year Old Virgin, The 30 Year Old Virgin or V-Carded. By the way, all these blog are now unfortunately defunct. I believe “The Virgin” from V-Carded eventually lost his virginity to TBK from The Beautiful Kind. The other two bloggers, which were popular several years ago, seemed to have shut down their operations and I assume either eventually got laid or gave up the dream, who knows?<span id="more-777"></span>
Well, if you happened to miss all the good content of the previous blogs, don’t fret, there’s a new <s>kid</s> guy in town and he steps things up a notch. We’re not talking about late 20 something virgins, or a 30 something virgin and no not even a 40 year old virgin. This guy is a Virgin at 50! As of now the blog is still a young pup, at less than a month old, but hopefully the author will continue posting his adventures in trying to get this whole virginity thing handled, but as of now his first post seems to be getting a lot action. In this, he basically lists all of the things he has done to improve himself and make himself more desirable; everything from getting a clothing consultant, brushing his teeth three times a day, to reading every pick-up/seduction book. He even goes so far as to travel to Russia in search of a bride… Though everything he has done is certainly good from a self improvement aspect, save the Russian bride thing, he admits in a response to one of my comments that he has NEVER cold approached a woman and has NEVER tried initiating a kiss with a woman. Here’s a quick excerpt of his comment.
I have a lot of approach anxiety and have, outside of asking thousands of women to dance, never “cold” approached a woman. I’ve “warm” approached the women I know from my social circle and from group activities in which we both participate. I’ve never tried to initiate a kiss because I’ve never felt that it would be welcome.
Now I’m not trying to come down on this guy, I’m an interested reader and am definitely rooting for him. And as my past readers know, I didn’t lose my virginity until my late twenties so I can somewhat relate. You can read about my my first lay and though it was somewhat awkward and never saw that girl again, thank god, I am still grateful for having the fortitude to bang that chubby tattooed girl from the shitty dive bar. As I’ve explained in my post at Loveawake dating site blog, being an older male virgin is like carrying around a bag of bricks that only gets heavier and heavier by the year. When I lost my virginity it was such a relief to drop that bag of bricks, and I was only 27, just imagine how many bricks a 50 year old man is carrying, that shit is gonna be heavy! Here’s the thing, when I finally got laid for the first time, it wasn’t because I was just waiting around to “get lucky.” No, I never would have even banged that chubby chick had I not manned up and escalated the situation; everything from the first attempts of kino, to initiating the kiss, walking her back to her place, inviting myself in and initiating the sex.
I think most people would say that you just have to go for it, make an attempt and be bold. Nothing is going to happen if you do nothing. Which brings me to my next rant, this comment on Virginat50′s blog by D. Lynn Thompson:
I’m sorry, but I can’t help but be amused at the fact that most (if not all) of the people advising you on how to get a woman are men. So, a bit of advice from a woman… QUITE TRYING SO DAMN HARD!!! I know that probably isn’t what you want to hear, but it is the truth. It is my personal experience that men who try too hard don’t get much for their efforts. Just be yourself. Screw the psychotherapy (no pun intended). Toss the self help books, meds, and every other bit of BS that tells you who you have to be to meet someone. If you MUST do something so you feel proactive, when you find a woman you would like to date, listen to her. Like actually listen. Not that “i’m pretending to listen while I figure out how to ask you out” listen. Take said info and do something nice. Bring her a lunch based on what she likes, buy her a used book that she has mentioned she likes (new ones are a bit creepy because they are expensive at times)…
What the hell! This is typical advice from an average woman who assumes that she knows how to attract women because she is a woman. Well, that is almost always not the case and is particularly poor advice in this case. Essentially, D. Lynn, gives the tired cliched advice of “be yourself.” Ugh, please… seriously is that really the best advice this guy needs?! The man is 50 years old, he has been doing the “be yourself” thing for decades with no results, how could that possibly do any good? If the man sticks to the status quo, then his only option is to rely on luck, which at this rate he’ll never lose his virginity. Now no one is saying that he should be a fake or pretend to be someone else. However, it is clear that he does need to TRY something to start escalating his interactions with the women he meets in life. And this doesn’t mean buying them a used book, that’s the lamest thing I’ve ever heard, it’s akin to buying flowers in the hopes that the woman will put out.
You can only write about your problem and your excuses for so long until it starts to get boring. So, as an interested reader and an early fan of your blog, I would be most interested in reading about your actual attempts to overcome your male virginity. Things like:
The thing is, even if you get rejected and have embarrassing moments trying to actively overcome your anxiety, it will still make for great blog reading, so think about it like a journalist trying to get good material. It works for me P.S. – If there are any other male virgin bloggers out there that I don’t know about, please drop me a line or leave a comment and I’ll link you up in this post.