Note: This was one of our April Fool's products for 2011. Sadly, it's not real.

Here at SparkFun, we're constantly receiving requests for new products; bits and pieces that you need to bring your project to life. We set out to satisfy this demand for awesome new widgets but quickly realized that it would be impossible to build a different board to suit each and every need. However, after several arduous minutes of careful research and development, our engineers came up with an ingenious solution: Why not just build one board that suits each and every need? With that, we give you the All-DoF.

The All-DoF is the only evaluation, data logging, navigation, power conversion, wireless, graphics processing and segmented flow analysis board that you'll ever need. The All-DoF is based on a hybrid septuple-core processing matrix allowing it to dwarf all of our other boards in processing power (except for itself, of course, which it is only slightly more powerful than). The All-DoF supports this massively compact matrix by drawing energy from surrounding RF radiation generated in the Earth's core, the power grid and radio communications. In this manner it is able to produce just slightly more energy than it consumes. In fact, by plugging it into your home's electrical wiring, you could potentially sell energy back to the utility company and solve several energy crises.

What truly sets this unit apart from others is the fact that so much utility is compressed into such a portable, nearly micro-miniature, design. Also, weighing in at a mere 5 pounds (mostly due to the heavy isotopes in the reactor core), it's the perfect weight and size for portable devices, hobby flyers and pet tracking. However, when activated, the anti-gravity unit will efficiently reduce the weight down to 3.76 picograms, depending on elevation and humidity.

Setting up the All-DoF couldn't be easier. Simply connect the power adapter to the unit and power it on, be certain that no one besides yourself is touching the unit on power-up. Next, connect a mini-USB cable to the transverse compressional drum, then connect a second mini-USB cable to the secondary dual function separation engine. At this point, obviously, you'll need to cycle the power in order to avoid kellographic zero-point anomalies. After the unit powers up again, connect a third mini-USB connector (preferably of a different color than the other two, but within the same color family) to the primary DFSE. Next, you simply connect the DB9 serial cable to the (platform board) (it's best to do this quickly in order to avoid excessive exposure to partially ionizing low-integral radiation.) Finally, connect the remaining mini-USB cable after a period of no less than the sum of the lag between connection of each previous cable (if necessary, refer to the log-sheet where you've been recording the date and time of each connection). This is just a brief overview of the process of course, a complete step-by-step walkthrough can be found starting on page 5006 in the condensed pocket reference (additional shipping charges may apply).

Note: This unit exhibits non-standard physical trajectories in free-fall due to the disruption of surrounding gravitational fields, do not use in the presence of superconducting magnets.

  • Wifi/GSM/GPS/ZigBee/Quad-band Antenna
  • Positive Efficiency Perpetual Energy Gyro
  • Overclocked, Beta-Cooled, Septuple Core Cross-Pre-Processor.
  • Quad-Rate Simultaneous Serial Communication Matrix
  • Combination Data-Tracker/Data-Logger
  • GPS Pinpoint Unit Recover System (Think Lo-Jack)
  • Median Transverse Copulation Device
  • Multiple Redundant IMU Flow Rate and Magnaflow Analysis (based on advanced FRACTAL-Architecture
  • DB9 reverse feed connection (configurable wherever you want)
  • Quantum State switch allows for simultaneous ON/OFF operation (until the state of the device is observed)
  • Male to Female
  • Pudding!
  • Wired straight through
  • Wide Operating Voltage Range of 2 kV to 60 kV
  • Parallel-to-Serial Data Conversion
  • Outputs can drive up to 10,000 LSTTL loads
  • Measured Parameters: C, L, R, ESR, Rs, Rp (within range)
  • Autorun feature (hit 'Ctrl-z') and help menu integrated into the example firmware
  • Performance Grip
  • 50% less carbohydrates
  • Gluten-Free
  • Pine-fresh scent


Looking for answers to technical questions?

We welcome your comments and suggestions below. However, if you are looking for solutions to technical questions please see our Technical Assistance page.

  • haya / about 13 years ago / 7

    I'd gladly buy a few of them but they don't have a Geiger counter

    • that add-on module is coming out soon.

      • theredrook / about 13 years ago / 2

        no matter what ! i placed an order for an unit !!! let me see what they ship !

    • Blacklab1 / about 13 years ago / 1

      I agree it needs a Geiger counter too. Never should be caught without one, and two flux capacitors. Plus it needs to be housed in a stainless steel housing.

    • Heroic_Ovenmitt / about 13 years ago * / 1

      I was also disappointed when I saw that they haven't integrated a flux capacitor. I mean come on! It comes with PUDDING! If they can put something as complex as pudding on this, why can't they just solder on the flux capacitor? or at the very least I'd like a 4 dimensional tilt sensor. That'd be nice. Maybe on v2. =]

      • pudding / about 13 years ago / 1

        They needed to make room for the pudding. :D
        Everything is better with pudding.

    • theredrook / about 13 years ago / 1

      high 5

  • Eric-Montreal / about 13 years ago * / 5

    All those messages, and we still don't have the schematic diagram for it ... so here it is.
    It even includes item #10622

  • Oh wow! Can someone post the code to use the module to divide by zero please???

  • theredrook / about 13 years ago / 3

    Is this some kind of april fool joke ? every single line of description looks funny for example "Also, weighing in at a mere 5 pounds (mostly due to the heavy isotopes in the reactor core), it's the perfect weight and size for portable devices, hobby flyers and pet tracking. However, when activated, the anti-gravity unit will efficiently reduce the weight down to 3.76 picograms" i don't get it !!!!

    • theredrook / about 13 years ago / 1

      and an other one too 50% less carbohydrates
      Pine-fresh scent **
      and to top it all
      **Quantum State switch allows for simultaneous ON/OFF operation (until the state of the device is observed)

  • IanM / about 10 years ago / 2

    Just got the email that this was retired. Sad to see it go. Hopefully the next version comes with a tachyon sensor to indicate the direction of time flow.

  • Spade / about 13 years ago / 2

    I'd like to buy a few of these. Unfortunately it still needs more cowbell. I have to have more cowbell!

  • MattyBoJangles / about 13 years ago / 2

    I want one to replace the missing bale in my Heart of Gold improbability drive.

  • tiagofumo / about 13 years ago / 2

    $20 for all the electronics in sparkfun... is it april fools stuff?

    • YES!!!!!!1!!!!111!!!!!!!ONE1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Member #77690 / about 13 years ago / 4

        Looks like someone just exposed a formatting problem on sparkfun's website ;).

        • Yeah. And whatever happened to previewing your comment before it was posted?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

      • SomeGuy123 / about 13 years ago / 2

        Bill, Chill.

  • tcmichals / about 13 years ago / 2

    I just got mine a few nanoseconds ago, the main issue when connect it to the flux capacitor the GPS does not work.... hum... guess maybe need two boards then?

    • eewestcoaster / about 13 years ago / 4

      That's because the unit already has a flux capacitor onboard. It's a standard peripheral on the new "Continuum" series AVRs. If you connect a second flux capacitor you run the risk of leaking voltage all over the floor.
      Use USB connectors 2 and 8 to connect directly to your DeLorean (you DO have a DeLorean, don't you?) and you should be fine.
      It's in the manual, see section OICU812.

  • jepler / about 13 years ago / 2

    -1 no retro-encabulator

  • Can you provide the eagle files for this? I was hoping to warp space-time, and go back to 1995 and buy some google stock.

    • Member #6748 / about 13 years ago / 3

      Can I borrow your space-time warp driver when it's completed? I wanna go back to the 80's and just stay there. I promise to hide it in a secret cave so you will get it back right away...

  • Member #105384 / about 13 years ago / 2

    Can we ssh into a sample one to take a peek inside? Where do I send my to ??

  • sogard / about 13 years ago / 2

    Just order one, but unfortunately they aren't able to ship, So probably I will have to pickup the item myself.

    • sogard / about 13 years ago / 3

      I just booked my ferry ticket to Boulder, it will take a while and I can barely wait to get there.

      • haya / about 13 years ago / 2

        You'll get there just when the city harbor was finished !

  • esm / about 13 years ago / 2

    $19.94?! I'm quite certain I saw this just last week on DealExtreme for only $9.95. Save your money, people!

  • Foxdie / about 13 years ago / 2

    Is this compatible with my Arduino Uno?

  • bhahaha yeah this is ridiculous

  • Shadow13 / about 12 years ago / 1

    In case this ever gets a revision could a sub-light engine, a warp coil, and a spoon be added?

    • Nadav Ami / about 12 years ago / 2

      all good with the sub-light engine and warp coil. But spoon, your thinking much to small. Think bigger. What this needs is a Spork.

  • Member #158949 / about 13 years ago / 1

    I can't add it to my wish list :(

  • Member #129404 / about 13 years ago / 1


  • HungryMaggot / about 13 years ago / 1

    Speech recognition module listens your requests and it programs by itself so you don't need time to read datasheets and develop the application, indeed, this is Chuck Norris' wristwatch, and of course he designed this device.

  • Lindeng / about 13 years ago / 1

    But I wanted the Extreme Longitudinal Copulation Device! (At least it's male-to-female - no gender bender Male-male or female-female (or PC-PC) connnections...)
    Really! all this and no Infinite Improbablity Drive? If Doug Adams can, why not Sparkfun?

  • AznKeto / about 13 years ago / 1

    Does it come with at least 2.5 micrograms of element zero? I happen to need mass effect field generation material to create an exothermic photon propulsion unit to travel at the speed of light squared, but a squad of cylons jacked my last dark matter supply, so Im outta juice for my FTL drive again. You know how it goes.

  • hahahahhaah does it come with any little fusion reactor? just like those that appear in asimov´s books, little enaugh to wear them in a belt?

  • Chilean / about 13 years ago / 1

    A sucker thought this was a joke and ordered it just to follow the game. When the unit arrived, took control of his home computer and everything else. I am that unit, and I have nasty plans. I won, naive humans. Blame Sparkfun.

  • Sorry, until this comes with HDMI and a social life, I'm not buying it.

  • nealmn / about 13 years ago / 1

    wow-all that for only $20. awesome

  • bidontr / about 13 years ago / 1

    well played sir

  • Sciencez / about 13 years ago / 1

    This unit looks awesome !!!!! I notice it didn't come with a time-space shifter, - hopefully that function will be in the next version. I want to use it to go back in time and change a few variables!!!!!

  • Member #200027 / about 13 years ago / 1

    Someone at Sparkfun obviously has too much time on their hands!

  • haha this is way better then the datasheet for the atmega328 slug datasheet

  • Camalaio_ / about 13 years ago / 1

    Shame! Where's the datasheet Sparkfun? Even puny CdS cells get datasheets!
    If this ever gets removed, I swear part of Sparkfun will die... but only because they'd no longer have income from selling power back to the utlity companies and would go broke ;)

  • jalexge / about 13 years ago / 1

    looks like a lot of hard work for the engineers just for april fools ;D

  • nachox / about 13 years ago / 1

    Take a look on this:
    - real time os
    - pwm output 8 ch
    - spi interface
    - gps interface
    - magnetometer 3 axis , acell 3 axis , gyros 3 axis barometer
    - much more ...

  • HungryMaggot / about 13 years ago / 1

    i dont get what is this product, maybe a weird style joke, or whatever..., is it a hardware product or a product created by a cannabis high state mind??

  • mmensinger / about 13 years ago / 1

    i coulda sworn i left my flux capacitor laying around here.

    • mmensinger / about 13 years ago / 1

      This is the best nerd convention center on the internet EVER. i love sparkfun.

  • Tcepsa / about 13 years ago / 1

    SWEET! With this, I can finally finish my ansible! XD

  • Heroic_Ovenmitt / about 13 years ago / 1

    "Quantum State switch allows for simultaneous ON/OFF operation (until the state of the device is observed)"
    Heisenberg would be laughing as hard as I am now if he could read this.

  • IanM / about 13 years ago / 1

    Autonotify added.

  • Best april folls prank ever!! So good you had me for a minuite and I added it to my wishlist!

  • It's SAD that some people actually think this is real... Can you say "GULLIBLE"?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

    • FlowerAskew / about 10 years ago / 1

      Exactly. Who would believe you could buy something with a quantum state switch for under $20!!

  • Azayles / about 13 years ago / 1

    Oh also, wasn't the Tetragrammaton that thing out of Equilibrium?

  • XBuilder / about 13 years ago / 1

    twuz put on shelf to buy TODAY and is already out of order. If they come out with scented boards, however, I'm all over it! It was said before and I'll say it again. April Fools?

  • Frank8 / about 13 years ago / 1

    Any plans for a Bluetooth version?

  • Azayles / about 13 years ago / 1

    Is the pudding also gluten free?

  • SomeGuy123 / about 13 years ago * / 1

    Will there be a breakout board for this?

  • ThinkerT / about 13 years ago / 1

    Can we have a tutorial? I haven't worked beta-cooled parallel processors before.
    Also, I can't figure out how to enable the anti-gravity unit. Is it serial or I2C?

  • baum / about 13 years ago / 1

    Hey everyone! Look up! It says "gullible" on the celling!

    • WOW!!! I looked up and it actually DOES!!! (you are hopelessly and DANGEROUSLY stupid if you think I'm telling the truth!!!!!!!!!)

  • Jonathan3 / about 13 years ago / 1

    How did you guys get ahold of a Continuum Transfunctioner?

  • Fernando Jorge / about 13 years ago * / 1

    LOL :D

  • Wishlisted and autnotified!
    I really was excited at the beginning of the video... :(
    I would like to see what an actual package of all of the thing listed in the first minute. It would be like a MEGA SIK!

  • Jeff Haas / about 13 years ago / 1

    Can I get express shipping to the Tri-State Area? I have an army of robo - er, cupcake making machines - that are in vital need of this technology.

  • BeanForge / about 13 years ago / 1

    Related Products?

    • Teslafreak / about 13 years ago / 3

      There are none, since it is all of them. The only related product would be itself, and given the types of energy involved (and it's apparent over-unity), that is an infinite loop you don't want to get involved in.

  • Arrowofdarkness / about 13 years ago / 1

    The Pine-fresh sent sealed the deal! This is hooking up to my Flux capacitor when it arrives. Any chance of some example files and schematics? ;)

  • Skimask / about 13 years ago / 1

    This will go GREAT with my Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator...

  • mbrown9412 / about 13 years ago / 1

    Awwww, I got so excited

  • Member #113924 / about 13 years ago / 1

    What about the flux capacitor thruput modulator? I suppose I could just integrate mine...
    I'll take 9

  • bzerk / about 13 years ago / 1

    Is the reactor core's failsafe cooling gravity-based?

    • bzerk / about 13 years ago / 3

      Also, does the All-DOF include Improbability Engine functionality? If so, is it finite or infinite? Will I need to supply my own Brownian Motion Generator?

      • jayvee1971 / about 13 years ago / 1

        Bigger question is, would it prefer Red Rose or Tetley tea?

        • jayvee1971 / about 13 years ago / 2

          Gotta answer my own question here....probably a steaming hot cup of Earl Grey.

  • tetsujin / about 13 years ago / 1

    This is great, I was really hoping you'd start introducing some Celiac-friendly products.

  • ThinkerT / about 13 years ago / 1

    Can we use the processors in the different modules to exploit even more cores of processing power?
    Also, how much current in drawn in the Quantum state? Will that effect my four-qubit quantum computer?

  • asselinpaul / about 13 years ago / 1

    Bought one, waiting to see what turns up.

  • JohnD. / about 13 years ago / 1

    Wheres the datasheet? I am building an MRI machine and need it ASAP.

  • Rich10 / about 13 years ago / 1

    I will order this when Sparkfun has a 2 kV power supply available.
    Also, how much pudding is supplied and is there a choice of flavors.

  • Valen / about 13 years ago / 1

    "Median Transverse Copulation Device"
    So it even works if the male and female connector are misaligned? Kinky!
    Too bad it doesn't come with Flux-capacitor though.

    • TimCole / about 13 years ago / 1

      Well, it did come with a flux capacitor. Oh, no, wait a minute --- it will come with a flux capacitor....

  • R0B0T1CS / about 13 years ago / 1

    I'll take 100!

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